What’s YOUR safeword?

Ready to go beyond vanilla sex? Wave that freak flag high, my friends. But before we welcome you to the dark side – keep in mind that there’s far more to learning the ropes of BDSM than mastering a clove hitch knot. Setting up a safe and successful bondage scene requires planning, communication, patience, and above all, a good safeword.

Simply put, a safeword declares your limits. And, because D/S relationships are based on trust, that safeword should be prearranged, distinct and absolutely sacred.

According to the BDSM dating app Whiplr, the top 3 most popular safewords are “Pineapple, banana, and orange” but you can always choose whatever phrase or word you find meaningful for yourself.

Here’s a few safeword guidelines:

1. Dear Subs, we understand making a decision can be hard. That said, we ask that you just keep your safeword SIMPLE. If you can’t say it clearly with a ball gag in your mouth- don’t say it at all. Besides, it’s a bondage scene (not your blog) and nobody wants to listen to you try to grunt out a Shakespearean couplet while breathing heavily.

2. Dear Masters, let’s say your sub utters a ridiculous safeword like “Nickelback.” Let’s say you’re enjoying the scene and not quite ready to yield control. Listen carefully because we’re about to drop some knowledge:

Nickelback is a terrible band and CONSENT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. Once the safeword is uttered the game stops and you’ll need to silence your lambs at a later date.

3. Better to keep one trusted safeword instead of changing one with every scene. In the heat of the moment accidents can happen and you don’t want to confuse yourself or your Dom. As Brad Hamilton says in Fast Times, “Learn it. Know it. Live it.”

4.  Because hoods and gags can make speech difficult, you can also agree on a non-verbal cue – like holding up a certain number of fingers. Some players will hold an object (like a bell or handkerchief) and drop it as a signal.

Once your safeword is selected you’ll be far better prepared to relax and enjoy your session.

Looking for a D/S shop in Austin, Texas? Visit us at Tabu Lingerie – 9070 Research Blvd, 204A where we carry an extensive line of leather collars, restraints and adult toys. (And we promise we won’t laugh at your safeword.)